just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
