I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
