3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
