i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
