i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
