Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You know, be my cock's hype man.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
