You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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