Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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