sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize