Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
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he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
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Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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