the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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