Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
