Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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