she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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