butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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