I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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