So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
worst night to have a conscience
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
