She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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