i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Randomize
