Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize