soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
