Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
