I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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