so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize