Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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