He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
