please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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