Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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