What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
It's not a walk of shame if you run
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
