Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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