she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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