So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
