as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
