last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Randomize
