what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
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do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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