We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize