Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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