if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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