That's intense
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
