I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
