Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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