so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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