Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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