i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
