i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
