yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
