We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
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I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
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She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
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