Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Panties = found
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
