lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
