If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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