New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
