dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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