I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You're like the curious george of whores
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
