just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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