Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
