k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
