DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
