question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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