when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
