my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
