I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize