who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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