words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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