Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
