Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
